I started out the day looking around my messy house and wondering why I couldn't be better at keeping it clean. I do this everyday and end up getting really down on myself. Then I thought of a quote that I have heard many times that says "Trying to keep your house clean while raising children is like trying to shovel snow while it is still snowing." I don't know who says it but I really like it. I have a bad habit of looking at everyone else's house and life and thinking that they are doing so much better than I am. It seems like no one else ever has a messy house and I always seem to. I tend to always blame the mess on my daughter or the fact that I am pregnant and do not feel good but the basic truth is that I really hate cleaning house. There are times when I have the time to clean but I would much rather sit and watch Gilmore Girls or take a nap. I cannot believe that I am admitting that! But right now, this is who I am and I need to accept that. So yes, you may come over to my house and it may have toys all over or the dusting won't be done, I apologize ahead of time, but I am not going to let it bother me. Of course I want to be better, I am not giving up. But I have accepted the fact that during this pregnancy and maybe after, things aren't going to be perfect. What little energy I have durning the day is going to be spent outside playing with my little girl. So maybe there will be more dinners out of a box or (gasp) no dinner at all! I am not the perfect housewife that so many of you are, but I am working on it. For right now, this is who I am and that's it! I do not have the energy and motivation to have a spotless house, dinner made and still have time to make every craft known to man and keep track of what is the latest stamp out or hip museum to hang out at. I am taking this life one day at a time right now and trying my hardest to be the best person I can.
For clarification, this isn't a rant at anyone, just things I needed to say for myself.
11 comments:
I hear ya girl!! It is depressing to sit and look at a dirty house...but when you're spending time with your kids...or relaxing for the sake of your un-born child...I think it's perfectly ok. Nobody's perfect...we're all working on becoming better people. So don't get down on yourself...like you said, live your life one day at a time...and enjoy the simple things!!
Lindsey J
thank you lindsey! it's so hard to keep up on everything we "think" we should! sometimes we just have to say 'oh well' :)
AMEN SISTER! I feel like that so much! I agree with you completely! I'm glad it's not just me.love you Lindsey!
Lindsey
I feel like this all of the time. It is so hard to keep up with everything!
You are amazing and I promise to watch your little one soon so you can go to the Temple. Sorry about the other day I feel so horribal!
Can I just copy and paste this to my blog and say I wrote it? I've been feeling a little bit of the same things lately.
There are some amazing women in my life who are (or seem to be) perfect at everything, and I admire them so much. However, for now, I'm happy just being me and trying each day to do a little bit better.
Honestly, if I walk into someone's house who has children and it is perfectly spotless and pristine, my first thought is that they definitely aren't spending enough time with their kids (or they have a really great maid). I don't think it in a judgemental way, I just think that there are definitely more important things than scrubbing my house top to bottom each day (hence why it's such a mess!).
When I came to visit you the other day and you commented on your "messy house" I was thinking, wow, she must be really good at keeping house if she considers this messy. You're doing a great job!
Lindsey,
I just looked under my bed for a framed calligraphy poem titled 'Excuse This House' that I used to have hanging in our house. It was about the time that you and Ty were in kindergarten and Lacey was a toddler and we had a day care in our home. It was kind of my announcement/excuse to anyone who entered our house. I'm going to post it here in case any of your friends want to copy it and put it on the fridge for when they get down about their housekeeping vs. mothering.
Excuse This House
Some houses try to hide the fact
That children shelter there;
Ours boasts of it quite openly
The signs are everywhere.
For smears are on the windows
Little smudges on the doors;
I should apologize I guess
For toys strewn on the floor.
But I sat down with the children
And we played and laughed and read;
And if the doorbell doesn't shine,
Their eyes will shine instead.
For when at times I'm forced to choose
The one job or the other.
I want to be a housewife....
But first I'll be a mother.
I will set this frame aside for you if you'd like to have it. I don't have any excuses anymore except your messy sister!
MOM
I was going to say just what Mary said!
The most important thing is to put your kids first.
Evie isn't going to remember how often the floor got mopped, or if you did the dishes every night. She's going to remember how you spent your time with her, and the family bonding you and Dave have with her. I liked your moms poem, it made me smile! But I will add, with respect and not wanting to insult, that you don't have to excuse anything. Your house is a home with a child, soon to be children. You owe nobody an apology. If there's something on the floor or dishes in the sink- it's okay!
If it REALLY bothers you, maybe it would be good to divide the responsibilities with Dave- I KNOW he's a sweet amazing husband to you- but maybe he doesn't realize how overwhelmed you feel.
Bottom line- let the small things go. Trust me, Evie will grow up before you know it and you'll wish for more time with her- not more time to clean house!
There will be a time when you feel better, or when you have more time, or whatever... to do what you want with the house. For now, let Evie be little and enjoy every second of it!
I think you're a sweet sweet person and I just love ya!
I hope you have a good week!
~H
I have to say AMEN as well! I was thinking what everyone else was thinking! Next time you get down... come over and look at my mess! It's a mess everyday! I promise you'll feel better! My house is never for SHOW! The DIGIS guy came yesterday and spent several hours here and he made my day! Mat was here with me and I wanted to die sending him into my bedroom! I said... "Excuse the mess!" He replied... "don't be sorry for having a life!" As my 4 kids are running around being crazy and I'm trying to make dinner! As he was leaving (hours later), he said thanks and Mat told him no thank you! Then he said... "you have a great spirit in this home and it feels well loved in! Believe me... I'm in several homes each day and they don't all feel this good!" What makes a house a home is LOVE! It made my whole day! I've been feeling so much like you described! It takes courage to say how you really feel and it is hard when everyone around you seems to have it all together! When really... we all struggle with something! I do know that growing up we had chores and stuff, and so did our friends, but some of them could never play or do kid things. No kids were ever allowed at their house and we viewed their mom as mean! I personally would rather be messy and happy than mean and clean! It is hard to stay on top when you have a toddler and expecting another one! Just love you, your husband, and your children! No one can take their clean or dirty house with them when they die... so I say don't sweat it! But really, you can come see my mess anytime! I'd love to get to know you.
You are a lot more normal than you think Lindsey! I think we would lose out on a lot of time with the kids or just going out and doing stuff if all we did was stay at home and clean. Cause BELIEVE ME...if NEVER ends!
There are so many times at the end of the day I look back at what I did...tired to clean up things...but yet the house is still a mess...and I didn't take time to play with the girls or read them a story. I feel so bad. I realize it is so much more important to play and have fun with my kids then to have a clean house...but is stillhard to do and remember at times.
Luckily everyday is a new day and we can do better everyday to be with our kids.
I think you are a great mom. So patient and loving with Evie. I admire you for that very much! Patience is such a great think to have.
Dude, Lindsay, I TOTALY hear you! You probably don't know me, but my husband Bryan grew up with Dave, and I think you and I crossed paths a few times in the singles ward (Palomar). And I knew your sister, Melissa. Anyway, seriously? Take this time for you. Once you have two kids, it all becomes a juggling game, and you will get into a rhythm. I hate cleaning house, too! So so so much, especially laundry. Don't feel bad, we all secretly do! But only some of us (you) are brave enough to say it :)
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